Saturday I arrived at the University of Florida in Gainesville to visit my 19-year-old sister’s College Experience. I think it’s about time I worked in a uniquely American experience for my French readers and, La Vache!, if a house party at the home of sophomore boys, boys who have dubbed their home "The Squeeze" is not a splendidly American way to spend your Saturday night, I don’t know what is.
Since the theme was “Pajama Party,” there was a little back and forth on how far to take our looks. My sister put a terry cloth robe on top of her normal clothes, while her two friends wore cartoon dinosaur pants with t-shirts. I wore jeans and a jacket and shoes that were "slipper inspired."
It was a little hard to determine where the party was happening since every house on that block had SOME party happening, but The Squeeze was sure to be the best party since when we arrived, it looked like there was no party happening at all. Turns out the “po-po” had been by an hour earlier and sure enough, we were escorted into The Squeeze with much furtive secretness, into a party that was officially slamming.
Which would have been awesome if 80% of the females weren’t dressed in frothy bra and panty sets with high heels like nubile Victoria Secret models. Yee gads.
But perhaps the most interesting was how those particular females decided to stick it to us, yelling “Take your clothes off!” as we stood awkwardly by the door.
Okay, you're right, ladies! I'm actually wearing a nylon catsuit under these cotton dinosaur pants of mine! SURPRISE!
The only other part you might want to know about was when a girl in black mesh underwear started doing interpretive dance with a balloon next to our circle. My sister’s friend leaned over the keg and whispered, “I feel like a nun.”
Oh, and there was this other time when a 20-year-old in boxer shorts asked me if I would like to see his nuts. When I scrunched my mouth to the side like I was contemplating it, he laughed uncomfortably, smacked my sister’s back, and staggered away.
That was when I looked at Jennifer’s face, my eyes tearing up, and whispered, THANK YOU, because I knew that she had given me a night that we would be talking about for a long, long time.
And now I have to go because we are going to be late for Art History class. Off to look at slides of Impressionism! Ooh! Ooh! Teacher, teacher! Wanna know what I did over the weekend?
Frankly, I think there's now going to be an large increase in young male French foreign exchange students to this university.
Posted by: Neil | 13 February 2006 at 10:44 PM
Those "where the hell am I?@@#!" parties are the best. The more alien you feel the better, it makes for better stories... I do try to limit those kinds of experiences to a few a year though.
I love your weblog!
Posted by: Ladybug | 13 February 2006 at 10:56 PM
Hmmm. Not missing frat parties at ALL after reading this ;) (but i do miss my art history classes!!)
Posted by: Vespa Rosso | 13 February 2006 at 11:13 PM
Only in America do we benefit from such a blessed freedom to party in our panties.
Posted by: Sammy | 13 February 2006 at 11:14 PM
Ah, a PJ party! We did a couple of these in law school - it was the highlight of the year. Only difference was that the guy with his nuts hanging out was 30, not 20. Really, no one needs to see that.
Posted by: DDJ | 14 February 2006 at 06:08 AM
Oh gosh. I was going to host one in college, but make it girls only so that the guys could only IMAGINE the shenanigans we were up to. We would say that we were in little negligees having pillow fights, when in reality we'd be in real pajamas watching chick flicks. Unfortunately, I never got around to throwing it.
Posted by: Gloria | 14 February 2006 at 08:38 AM
I feel old...but happily so...
Posted by: Cheeky Kitten | 14 February 2006 at 06:53 PM
now really, someone needs to explain to these kids the difference between an underwear party and a pajama party! maybe those girls were on their way to an underwear party until they realized that the squeeze was obviously where it was "happening." thaaat explains it.
Posted by: gretta | 14 February 2006 at 09:08 PM
"Interpretive dance with a balloon." So that's what they're calling it these days....
Posted by: sarahb | 15 February 2006 at 02:30 AM
a) I miss college... and I don't. Thanks for the reminder of the things I don't want to revisit. :)
b) Woah, your sister looks like Mandy Moore!
Posted by: ElizabethB | 15 February 2006 at 05:08 PM
I want to study. again.
Posted by: schuey | 16 February 2006 at 10:13 AM
neil, and even older ones :)
Posted by: schuey | 16 February 2006 at 10:42 AM
i agree with ElizabethB, I miss college, sometimes for the things that I wouldn't want to revisit. But were fun at the time.
Posted by: shannon | 18 February 2006 at 06:37 PM
Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning.
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