I like being single. Gives me more time to read magazines.

I’ve been straightening up my apartment because the repair man is coming over to install a new gas heater.  It has been over a week I’ve been living without hot water and let me tell you, I can't believe my luck that it has ONLY been over a week.  I mean, my hot water heater had the acrimonious gall to break down in AUGUST in France.  Did I mention that my very friendly neighborhood merchants have all put up signs saying “See ya sometime before Noel, suckers!” and hightailed it in their Deux Cheveaux to eat apricot-filled beignets in the countryside with their poodles?

Okay, I apologize for that last sentence; there’s something about broken plumbing in the dead of August that brings out the repetitive use of clichés in me.

The thing that I am most looking forward to with the Return of L’Eau Chaude (besides no longer having to shower at my cousin’s) is that it will mean the Return of Le Clean Sink, as the pile of dishes living there have SO surmounted the point where cold water and soap could possibly do the trick.

And all those dirty dishes just can’t be very good for my chi.  Whaaa? you ask.  I'll tell you!  I've been thinking of my chi of late in no short part due to my friend Elizabeth MacCrellish.  She has written a sweet wonder of a book called Dorm Room Feng Shui. Does it read like gangbusters?  Hell yeah, it does.  Is the author knowingly wise to the constraints (budget, space, and time) placed on your average college student?  She is.  Did she write it light, funny and irreverent?  Why yes.   Would it make a really great gift for the college student/high school graduate you know and love?  God, you guys are so on my wavelength. 

So, according to feng shui principles, your living space is divided into nine separate boxes, each representing an aspect of your life. This is called your bagua.  I had this idea to show you a shocking picture of my desk clutter  (located in my third gua--family), but I would have had to spend such an enormous amount of time making the clutter in that box look attractive, until I had achieved a sort of Joseph Cornell precision to the disaster....and I only tell you this to provide, still further evidence that I am insane.  So instead, I’ll give you with these tidy piles of magazines, attractively existing in my relationship corner! 

Pretty or not, I suspected one could contend they were clutter, and therefore a blockage to my relationship potential, but I just did not want to go there--oh magazines, I love thee too much!  And then I read this on page 3: anything you love is not considered clutter.  And I said, Yay!

Comments

[Bob]

Perfect timing! My oldest daughter moves into a dorm at the University of New Hampshire on Friday. She's a packrat and not the neatest person so this book will be perfect for her!

[Lesley]

Wow that's crazy! I move into the University of New Hampshire tomorrow!

[Polichick]

Great book rec. I know two people who will love it!

[bluepoppy]

que tu es mon etoile du nord!

gros bisous --- a Septembre, alors.

[Jillian]

I don't like reading fashion mags bc I always feel sad that I'll never have all that pretty haute couture stuff, but I am a total lifestyle/cooking/decorating magazine junkie. I keep all my Real Simples and use the piles as stands for my lamps. This magazine is the best--not only is it great content, but the pages are super thick, like fancy cardstock and I always feel elegant when I thumb through the pages. Is that sad?

[DDJ]

Woohoo! I love stacking magazines. I get roughly four months worth in a pile before I get the chance to read them, though. At least that's better than my book pile. I get to that every 2 years or so...

[juliana]

You're so cute. I loved the YAY part at the end. But, unfortately, I don't like mags much. I will glance at one if it's around, but I never buy them myself. They're too....girlie!

[Coquette]

Yes, Bob, Polichick! They will love it!

Jillian, sad? You kidding? Excuse me while I go smell the glossy cardstock pages...mmmm...who needs arugula?

Juliana, Yay for being a packrat! :)

Bluepoppy, AWWwwwww!

[Miss P]

Love feng shui too, it drives my Cheri crazy that I always care for my chi (usually by putting mirrors in strange places)but I had no idea the piles of Vogue could help. That's a new answer I can make next time he asks me how I account for such a mess next to my futon. Thanks.

[Dagny]

As a self-proclaimed packrat, I am glad to hear that anything that I love is not clutter. I also have to admit that since moving earlier this year, I have managed to get rid of quite a bit of stuff. Not nearly enough but still a sizeable dent.

[Sarah Nicole]

I too am in love with magazines. The gloss, the glamour, the glittering superficiality... it's the perfect escape.

[Neil]

According to feng shui, aren't you supposed to have something alive in every room, like a plant? Or do you love your magazines so much that you consider them "living objects?"

[Gloria]

Seeing that I just spent an untold amount of money at FedEx shipping home stuff I just simply couldn't live without (like back issues of cooking magazines and ticket stubs) - well, is there something that says that the more stuff you have, the better?

[Nicole]

Oo- that is the book I need! Do you think we could arrange some sort of book exchange? I just came back from the States with a bag full of new English books- went a bit crazy in a "4 for the price of 3" Sale.

[Marilyn]

I, too, loved E's book and console myself with that "if I love it, it's not clutter" line re my magazines. Except mine aren't in only one spot...I seem to have sprouted stacks of them throughout the house. Maybe I should think about actually reading them...

[samantha]

I, unfortunately, read the book far too fast and skipped that line. Okay, and I was moving, and trying to declutter, and so I was STUPID STUPID and let the Fiance THROW AWAY a lot of my old VOGUE magazines. Sorry with the capitals, they are truly necessary. I really don't know if I can get over it. Because I LOVED THEM. And from now on, I will rent a storage unit to keep all my magazines if that is what it takes.
I've cheerfully decided that I will simply be on a quest to REPLACE the magazines I loved (like the first Gwyneth Vogue cover) and then it will be like a gift from the universe.

[nardac]

I love the way you so surreptitiously slipped in that you were single. What? Trying to pull a PA and find your man in the comments box? ;)

BTW, my fashion mags are in the toilet, a huge stack, where they get moved eventually to the garbage. Can't keep them after the season!

[Coquette]

Nardac, oh you're right, that was surreptitious, slipping it INTO THE TITLE like that. Off to write "I AM SINGLE" on my about page...:)

Sam, I may have that Gwen cover in the archives.

[nardac]

Sweetie, the rest of your article steers us so carefully around it. One could almost forget that that was really the subject of the piece, and not feng shui.

Still, boys out there, our La Coquette is a charming young lady who isn't necessarily looking for love, but is open to it! Sounds like the good debut to a romantic comedy.

[la.dauphine]

En parlant des magazines!... American BAZAAR came in today. Some REALLY gorgeous spreads for Fall (black leather & ruffle Roberto Cavalli Gown, Lanvin red velvet pumps). Hilarious photo of Camilla Parker Bowles in a pink Vivienne Westwood gown!!... Avec tout ca, qui a besoin d'un mec? :)

[George]

Paris in August with no hot water doesn't seem so bad, but no air conditioning that's entirely another matter.
Le bain ou la douche froid I can handle in mild weather, but dirty dishes, oh no!
Thanks again for a window to a life I could have only dreamed of,
George

[Anne]

I have lived in my new apartment in the fifth for exactly four days and last night the water stopped draining out of the shower, the sink....oh dear

[Coquette]

Nardac, I'm so happy you've agreed to be my official pimp! How much of a percentage did we say again? ;)

[beth]

why the HECK did they not have this when I was in college?