Also, in fact, pleased to make your acquaintance

Have I ever mentioned that every month or so, a jet setting couple jets off and leaves me in charge of their blind dog?  They do. 

Meet Bianca, miniature greyhound.  She eats sweet potatoes and hamburger and loves to walk all over you when you are trying to sleep.  You have to encourage her to go #1  (rubbing her back and saying “goodgirlgopotty”), but she’ll #2 in the litterbox on her own accord.  You’ll know she has #2’ed because she’ll run out and furiously claw the carpet, and folks, it’s amazing what happens next.  She’s all proud and scratchity-scratch and I’m all, Oh!  Clap! Clap!, and then my lips open and a strange, false voice, the same voice that I’ve heard some of you use when speaking to the wee bald humans, that voice sings, “Good GIIIRL!”  I haven’t always been the “Good GIIIIRL!” type, it just came upon me one day, in early 2004.  I guess it’s official, my heart is not a lump of granite. 

The squeaky turkey leg is Bianca’s favorite toy and she knows when I am going to leave her because she hears me putting on makeup.  This is when she gets all affectionate and curious, sidling up as if to say, “Did I ever mention that you’re pretty and smell nice?  What a fetching blouse!  My, green is your color...DON’T LEAVE ME!”   

Generally, she’s a goddess, but she is always running into things.  She’s blind you know.

Her owners live just off the lovely pedestrian rue Lévis by métro Villiers in the 17th.  It’s nice there.  Last time, I bought a kilo of cherries at the street market and ate them until I had a massive stomachache.  I also looked at a lot of depot ventes.  I tried on a YSL jacket, white with black bow pattern.  There was a matching dress, 50 euro-ish, but both were a tish snug.  My gym has a branch in that neighborhood with funny egg-timer lights in the bathroom; it’s like peeing to the 60 Minutes clock. 

I run at the Parc Monceau on weekends and marvel at the teenage girls playing cards on the lawn (wrap your brains around THAT, mallrats!) and also, the roses, which are as big as heads of cabbage, sweartogod.  Once, I saw a group of school-children walking in a line, each clutching a scribbled drawing in his (or her) chubby fist.  With their bright cardigans and leather French-kid shoes, I just wanted to string their rotund bodies from a tree and admire their shiny faces.  Preferably with some hot cocoa.  It reminded me of the Madeline books, seeing those school-children.  Parc Monceau is her park you know, the park of Madeline and Proust (in no special order of importance). 

Okay, let me tell you all the negative stuff about this job now. 

*crickets*

Comments

[Bob]

A miniature greyhound? I never heard of such a thing! She sounds like a love!!!

[Chanelbaby]

HA! Coquette, you just reminded me that Bistro du Coin here in Washington DC (which has the BEST "moules" and "pomme frittes" anywhere) has an egg timer light in the ladies loo. Sometimes I don't turn it far enough and the loo goes PITCH BLACK and I can't even see the loo paper. Ha ha I'd forgotten that. I love that turn of phrase.

[Gloria]

Italian Greyhounds always seem to have problems. The one my friend had - well, it was hit in the head with a softball. It was fine, but walked with its head tilted.

Love Madeline. Have al the books.

[DDJ]

I suppose that you were talking about infants when you mentioned the "wee bald humans." However, the first image that came to my mind was Mini-Me.

As for madeleines, I could really go for a couple right now.

[Sonja]

I resent you because you are living the life I wish I had. Le sigh.

[J]

Hey Coquette- I didn't comment when you posted your pic bc I didn't want to get lost in the SEA of praise, but you're really pretty. And you fit the image in my head really well! Now, I'm wondering what your voice is like... Can you describe it? :)

[Molly]

Oh dear. I think I am a bit smitten with Bianca now.

[R]

Does this mean you do dogsitting?

Just planning for the future. You seem like someone we could trust with our baby.

After all, you know how to say, "Good Girl!" with feeeeeeling! :)

[Harrods Girl]

Bleh, I've never liked dogs. Hm, actually I've never really liked animals much. Why do people keep pets anyways? As if I would choose to spend my money on a pet over a gorgeous Marc by MJ blazer. Or maybe I'm just too much of a city girl.

[Dagny]

What a cute dog. I know how you feel about the voice though. I work with kids and often have to stop to figure out who just said that gushy line. Thankfully it doesn't happen too often.

[EasyJetsetter]

Can I use the "wee bald humans" line? I'll hat tip, I promise, it's just so, well, apt... I might modify to "wee, bald, loud, humans."

[Coquette]

Easyjettsetter, I sort of stole it from...I forget who now! A blogger? She was pregnant and didn't know the sex, thus dubbing it the "wee bald STRANGER" So. best.

R, anytime!

J, How nice of you! I don't know what to say! As for my voice, perhaps we'll keep that the last vestige of secret...

Sonia, The owners read the blog, so it's not like I'm going to do "dog secrets REVEALED." But also, having the blog is a nice reminder of how cool I have it. Even when I sometimes feel like a loser (what do I write to the college alumni mag?) etc. Thanks for your nice comment, which you phrased as a joke, but I see what you mean...

[Ale]

it strange, just today i saw on the news that somewhere in massachusetts they outlawed "mall rats", basically no GROUP of teenagers can be at the mall past 4pm without supervision. --but teenagers shopping alone are OK-- maybe now there will be more kids playing cards in good ol' Mass.

[suzanna danna]

she looks like a little love :)

[Daniel]

Heh, I've never met a blind dog before.

I guess that makes you a guide-human.

Sounds like you are performing your role dutifully and well!!

[Doodlebug]

I am in love with Bianca.

[Marilyn]

Somehow I hadn't pictured Bianca as a miniature GREYHOUND. But she looks sweet. My last job in the islands featured a resident Dachsund who was blind. He had no eyes, but he was adorable nonetheless.

[Le Serpent]

it's hard to write well on people and harder yet when the people are blind dogs.

that was funny and sweet and I loved it.

[Dolce]

Your blog is so beautiful to look at.. how do you make it so?

[Coquette]

Thank you, I just played around on typepad a lot when I was setting it up.

Gosh, rereading this post a year and a half later is a little hard. Bianca died earlier this year.

[cheap supra]

You see? Very good, very good