Somewhere between airhead and Alzheimer's...

Things are a little wonky this week.  For one thing, I’m sitting for the (very sweet) blind dog that lives up yonder in the 17th arrondissement, so I’m not staying at my place.  Oh yeah, and my sister Aimee arrived yesterday.  Have I seen her yet?  Nope!  Did I pick her up at the airport?  Hell no!  Betwixt various important commitments like administering doggie eyedrops, I’ve spent the last three business days in blind terror trying to track down an item that went missing from the photo shoot.  It costs more than your average American automobile, but that’s irrelevant.  What is relevant?  Another magazine wants to shoot it in New York at the end of the week.  Lost publicity!  Now that's something that has relevance!  The PR people would like my head with a side order of pomme frites and the whole ordeal has shaved five years off my life.  In a nutshell.

What else?  Oh, when my sister arrived, I asked her to call me from the apartment so I knew she got in okay, only...turns out my lines had been cut off.  Ha ha!  I forgot to pay France Telecom, silly me!  You think I can be bothered with paying dumb bills when I’ve got pricey designer press samples to lose?  As if! 

Well, at least she has a place to sleep, right?  I mean, I didn’t manage to supply fresh bedsheets or, hell, even leave a note explaining how anything works, but I had a brand new bar of Dove lying around, which I laid carefully on a folded towel beside the bed.  Welcome to Paris, Aimee!  Here’s a bar of soap!  Have fun with my dirty dishes!  Careful not to nick the parquet whilst heaving your valise up those five flights of stairs!

Speaking of rolling out the welcome mat, there's no spare key for the second downstairs door to my building, so before she could even access my dirty, phoneless apartment, she had to loiter until some random stranger let her in.  “Hi!  I’m cold and jet lagged and can’t really speak French, let me in, okay?  Want some soap?”

Can I tell you another funny thing?  Today’s her birthday.  What do I look like, Santa Claus?  Of course I don’t have a present.  I think I’m going to buy macaroons from Laduree on my way to the apartment tonight.  A food gift!  Originale, non?  Nothing like waiting till the last minute to ensure that you overspend on something entirely inappropriate!

In summary:  Welcome to Paris, sister!  Now massage my feet!

Comments

[meg]

Sounds like your sister is in for a treat of a vacation ;)

[Coquette]

I know. Luckily, she'll be here for a good long while.

[Bob]

At least you didn't leave her a note telling her to do some food shopping.

[bluepoppy]

I believe this is my all-time favorite Coquette post ever. It shall hold first place until such time as I tell youit has been knocked out of first place-- but I think it's a record holder for some time.

Hilarious.

[juliana]

Wow. You're putting your sister through a lot. But I'm sure she'll understand the situation and forgive you. No stress.

[Gloria]

Macarons. It's okay, she'll forgive you if you buy her a gigantic box of those. I know that I would.

[Ale]

that's so funny- well, not for you i guess-
but wait- doesn't your cousin lives down the hall from you?? or you could have just told her to go directly to your place of dog sitting-- just being helpful :) hehe

i went to visit a friend staying in Prague, and to make sure she would meet me in time i told her to arrive an hour early-- and of course good thing because she was frantic, looking for me since she was late- I would have been freaking out if she wasn't there.

[Stu "El Inglés" Harris]

Take Aimée to the Brasserie Balzar, then the Violon Dingue, and split the bill...

:-)

[Harrods Girl]

You poor busy girl! Juggling between so many jobs and loose ends of previous jobs. Good luck darling! Hope you find that 7000 dollars dress.

Ooo, sounds fun that your sis is visiting you and Paris. How long is she staying for? Hope you manage to squeeze her into your busy schduale somehow...

[DDJ]

Deep breaths, Coquette. Deep breaths. Now go home, kick off whatever designer foot torture you're wearing today, put those feet up, and have a macaron. (But don't make sis do *all* of the dishes. It is her birthday, after all. :)

[cara]

i just so have to ditto blue poppy. and there's nothing quite like reading that i am not the only unashamed, stressed out, unprepared person in the world!

and isn't is birthday present enough to be in Paris with her sister?!

[Asian Lep]

You sound like a good sister to me.

Then again I'm prone to leaving my sister at malls and concert venues miles from home.

[hdfjn]

that's cheap...

[sammy]

If you DO find the Prada coat, you could give it to her, since, you know, you are dead anyway.

[nathan]

Well, i guess every masochist could be your guest ! They will love this kind of warm welcoming. Good choice for the macaroons, it is 'always' a very pleasant present (except if she's in the middle of a diet, but an american girl in Paris cannot be on diet, right ?)

[Coquette]

Stu, if this summer turns out anything like last summer, the Violin Dingue will play into our agenda.

Aimee and Jeanne and our cousin Jean (not Jeanne's brother, no worries) and I had a nice time last night. And Aimee got the best birthday present ever--her lost luggage arrived!

[schuey]

I had to laugh so hard when reading this. And yes I agree one of my favorite posts, sounded like a good flick moment.

Concerning the feets, you should do the same thing then me : wear ultra cool Prada mules... Blue and red leather, they are such killers...

[Rachel]

Aww...Happy Birthday Aimee. It was my birthday too!!

[schuey]

your first car was worth 7000 Dollars ?

[Coquette]

Um, no! It was a 6 year old Mazda friggin Protege, so if I paid 7,000 for that it would be, like, the worst deal EVER.

I wanted to get that figure you mentioned removed from this post because things have gone from bad to worse with the coat and the magazine's officially going to be billed, so, there's hell in store for me and I didn't think I was helping matters by writing about it online.

[Negrito]

I hope you ll bring your sister so I can royaly share champagne !

[Coquette]

Awww, thanks Negrito!

Schuey, I need a good boozy picnic, don't you think? BTW, can you pull some strings for me with the PR people at house-that-must-not-be-named? Kidding. Sort of.

[Dagny]

Oh dear Coquette. They are going to hold you responsible for the cost of the coat??? I certainly hope not. If so, you must go out for cocktails with your sister. Think of it as killing two birds with one stone. You will forget the coat and your sister will forget any lack of hospitality that you have shown -- although I think you have been a perfect hostess. She has a place to stay in Paris, doesn't she?

[Auntie M]

Your sister is probably just so happy to see you and be in Paris that she doesn't even notice... at least she could wash up... once she got in your apartment...

[nardac]

All this schadenfreude... except for Auntie M, who is really Pollyanna.

Anyways, didn't it add 5 years, not shave 5 years, onto your life?

[nardac]

To explain what I just wrote: getting fired from this means you'll work less in fashion. People who want to work in fashion age fast, unless they take age-enhancing drugs and get their faces stretched. Even then... ewwww.

[Viagra Online]

Mmm... I don't understand why do you say you are American but really French... If you were born in America, you will be American although your parents were from France and the other way around.