Thanks to the benevolence of a friend and the fact that I work in the media, I was invited to the July 4th dinner at Le Meurice Hotel, the dinner that I first read about in C’est La Vie and that all my coworkers went to when I worked at my magazine internship.
I actually squealed when I received the invitation in my inbox. I’ve noticed that since I live alone, I tend to go to the mirror when something bad or good happens to me at home. If I’m having a bad day, I might do a few bars of The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow, and if I’ve just been invited to a sit-down dinner by a Michelin-starred chef, I might look in the mirror and have a shootout with myself, then do a little robot until the enthusiasm bursts up through my fingertips into jazz hands. Once you know these things about me, it becomes clear why my friends put away the breakables when I come over.
In the spirit of The Devil Wears Prada, I thought I could try to work in as many name brands and name hotels and name 5-starred chefs as I possibly could into this post. Because it’s summer: being smutty feels so right.
So on July 4th, I put on a turquoise Vanessa Bruno dress and coral peep-toed Fluxa shoes and I was off to the rue de Rivoli.
This is France, so we must get right to the food: The Michilen-starred chef Yannick Alleno did creative interpretations of hamburgers, hot-dogs and caesar salad--dishes so delicate they looked like they shopped at Bonpoint. And the night ended with a huge American flag cake with sparklers. Sparkly sparklers. On strawberry, Michelin-starred cake.
We were seated in a ballroom with chandeliers and gilded everything, and I sat next to the hotel's PR assistant Céline who is just the cutest French girl you’ve ever seen. The whole evening was seriously fun.
And the last thing I must tell you about is the French National Champion Cheerleaders.
Hold for laughter.
No really, cheerleaders in France, they exist! They danced their hearts out to Britney Spears and then did flips in the corner of the ballroom at the end of dinner. They also threw confetti all over the place. And they sang “Appy Birsday Amereeca” and were very pretty.
Later, I met up for a drink with a group of Americans and I rehashed the night, waving my USA flag, (which was snatched from the centerpiece), and speaking poetically of miniature hamburgers. But something about the cheerleaders unsettled me. “They were oddly built--I was really shocked to learn they were French.” And then I realized: right! They had flesh on their thighs! Muscle!
There is something that I’ve noticed lately: the default French girl way to sit. What I call The Yogic Eagle Position, which is to say, the top leg crossed over the bottom (in normal legs-crossed position) and then the top foot hooked back around the bottom ankle like a pretzel. NOT RECOMMENDED for those with thighs and calves unless you want to throw out your knee. I speak from the experience of someone who does not say no to the strawberry American flag cake.
Where else on the internet are you going to find this kind of practical advice?
I could so not sit "correctly" in France. I used to be jealous of the girls who could sit like that.
Posted by: Scarlet | 16 July 2006 at 06:48 PM
The **only** way a lady should sit in public is with knees together and ankles crossed. Never cross at the knee. (shudders at the vulgarity).
Also, Square Jaw stole two flags.
Posted by: GdP | 16 July 2006 at 07:51 PM
Woe me! I must be French! You caught me doing the naughty eagle thing, right here, with my laptop on my legs... but "yogic" almost suggests that it might be related to exercizing, which is just impossible...
Posted by: Formedable | 16 July 2006 at 09:17 PM
Ha! Well, I think it always looks so cute. Like you're a wee little marionette that can just fold right up at the joints.
Posted by: Coquette | 16 July 2006 at 10:57 PM
I like how you notice these little details. You know what's really cute too? The way American girls lift their chin up when they smile, almost victoriously. I have been practicing doing that for a while, but it still look a little ackward on my French smile... ma foi...
Posted by: Formedable | 16 July 2006 at 11:30 PM
I took a picture on le 14 juillet with four french friends and I'm the only one chin lifted! That's so funny.
Posted by: Coquette | 16 July 2006 at 11:42 PM
Teach us! Teach us!
Posted by: Formedable | 16 July 2006 at 11:54 PM
Do you have some pictures from July 4 to show us??
Posted by: J | 17 July 2006 at 03:55 AM
How do you come up with these things?!! Cheerleaders...crossed legs...Michelin stars. This is why I love you!! By the way, have been loving the Antonia Fraser Marie Antoinette book your website recommended.
Posted by: Enticed by the Apple | 17 July 2006 at 04:50 AM
Screw the cheerleaders - I'm still giggling over the image of jazz hands in front of the mirror!
Posted by: Kathleen | 17 July 2006 at 09:54 AM
J, sorry I don't. But, I have something even better from July 14: video. Just trying to figure out how to upload it.
Enticed by the Apple, Isn't the bio great?
*jazz hands*
Posted by: Coquette | 17 July 2006 at 11:18 AM
Us American girls do the chin lift thing so as not to have the dreaded pahtom double chin apear when the pictures are developed!!
As for the yogic leg crossing, I've only seen stick figured girls who can do this. I would surely break my shins if i even tried.
Faboo post, hope you did something equally as fun for Bastille Day!!
Posted by: katie | 17 July 2006 at 02:08 PM
My best friend, in highschool, used to sit like that... she was a size two.
Great post.
Posted by: meg | 17 July 2006 at 03:16 PM
Katie, don't be to hard on American girls... and maybe we can do the crissy crossy thing with the legs because we started doing it as a toddler and developped this freakish anatomical monstruosity, like chinese gymnasts? What would an x-ray reveal? Spiraled tibias? An extra articulation in the knee?
Posted by: Formedable | 17 July 2006 at 04:39 PM
Formedable - you have a point! Do you think If I start positioning my 5 month olds legs this way, she'll grow up, all slender and pretty, able to sit like une petite fille française?! Cracking up at how my pediatrician would probably bonk me over the head for ruIning her kneecaps instead.
Posted by: katie | 17 July 2006 at 05:20 PM
this entry is the perfect example of why i love reading this blog. the visual imagery of girls sitting in pretzel-like positions had me falling off my chair with laughter. awww!
Posted by: nette | 17 July 2006 at 06:34 PM
well, i'm not french and nor is the friend i'm going to refer to, but a friend and i both realized we did this recently! with the wierd leg and ankle crossing and tucking. how funny!
Posted by: seafoam | 17 July 2006 at 08:20 PM
hhhmm.
i always sit like that. weird. but if i'm not screwed up like i've been in a car crash i dont feel right sitting at all.
Posted by: piu piu | 17 July 2006 at 11:37 PM
Haha- I keep trying the elegantly seated French pretzel thing, but to no avail. I just can't say no to gateau :)
Posted by: eurobrat | 18 July 2006 at 04:31 AM
you had me at 'the robot', partly because i too, do the robot, in front of the mirror or just randomly around the apartment, or occasionally on dance floors...jazz hands sound really fun too, ill try that next time.
this post was so funny! you had such a fun 4th! i walked through the petanque championship in soho last week for bastille day and it felt very french, very parisian..
Posted by: shannon | 18 July 2006 at 05:38 AM
Cheerleaders? Seriously? That's hilarious!
Posted by: Serena | 18 July 2006 at 02:59 PM
My left knee just started making this strange clic-clac noise when i go up the stairs... related? unrelated?
Posted by: formedable | 18 July 2006 at 03:40 PM
There's a petanque championship in Soho? Where do they hold it?
Posted by: Coquette | 18 July 2006 at 08:53 PM
Awwww...I love to flash the jazz hands as well! I've never tried the smoking guns but, I am partial to a little Mr. Roboto every now and then. :0)
Posted by: Noire Dire | 19 July 2006 at 12:09 AM
it's near 6th avenue south...Macdougal St at Prince Street, this restaurant named Provence has it, and they set up petanque courts that cover the whole street (it's a small street), and champagne is flowing (i think it might be sponsored?). Picture cute old french men (and cute young french men ;)) some with team t-shirts on playing in the street with a french flag banner waving. it really feels like you are in france, bc that street is so quaint as it is.
Posted by: shannon | 19 July 2006 at 06:06 PM
On TV< if you watch that show where they pit one French city against another, they have a gaggle of cheerleaders there too! A la vache!
Posted by: David | 29 July 2006 at 03:13 PM
"I might look in the mirror and have a shootout with myself, then do a little robot until the enthusiasm bursts up through my fingertips into jazz hands."
Love it. I'm so glad I came across your blog today. Good stuff.
Posted by: claire | 17 August 2006 at 11:19 PM