Reboot, remove

You may have heard that half of Northern America was dumped with snow Thursday night, but the other thing that happened is that I got stuck in my boot.

Jen trudged out in the icy mess for beer with a friend whereas I, rockstar that I am, couldn’t be bothered to handle more than Kathy Griffin and my box of Triscuits, if you must know.  (Hey, I did go out Tuesday and Wednesday night; that is T-W-O nights in a row!  Watch your back, Imaginary Socialite!)   

When Jen came home, I was lying on her couch in my pajama top, pants from work, and one knee-high boot. 

“Oh noooo!” she said covering her mouth. 

“It’s evil, Jen.  It is a bad, bad boot.” 

And now I would be wearing it until the day I died. 

Jen made a valiant effort with a wrench for about twenty minutes, gripping the zipper and pulling up and down until the veins were popping from her head, before blurting, “I’m going to have to cut.”  Normally those aren’t words you want to hear from a person with a lager-induced slur, but I didn’t care.  We had a sick boot to remove, damn it. 

And now I am free.  With just a slight rip in the little flap that lies under the zipper, the part that protects your leg.  Turns out, you don’t even need that little flap--it’s like a second kidney.  Only made in China and marked “Charles David."

Comments

[Aimee]

Too funny!

[Dagny]

Oh dear. The idea of an inebrietated person wanting to cut anything is way too funny. Poor evil boot.

[ering]

and here i thought stilletos were the only evil shoes. sounds like one nasty boot

[babyblog]

your blogs from Chicaaago are just as fantastic, darling !
Missing you in Paris where there are now even more fun fashion fetes and champagne hangovers...and shoes, so many shoes.
x
A

[junk]

That happened to me once. I resigned myself to living in them for the rest of my life.